Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
