had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Operation Purity has been aborted
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
