when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
My apartment stinks of burning failure
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
