He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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