I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
