So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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