i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
