yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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