but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
im six kinds of drunk right now
only if we run a train.
done.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
