I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Everclear isn't food dammit
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
