Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
