She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
