My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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