That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Randomize
