wakey wakey hands off snakey
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
