This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
