Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
