Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
