i permit you to call me
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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