also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
