Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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