I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
