It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
God, I missed his penis.
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