They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
