Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
where am i from again
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
i now understand why vodka
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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