Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize