i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
