He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
