it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
