Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize