One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
