i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
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