At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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