apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
