i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
17 year olds will be the death of me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Two words: blizzard sex
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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