Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Randomize
