Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
