idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
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