I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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