i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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