i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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