I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Ketchup is God's man juice
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
