THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
