I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
