If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
