Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
