Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
