Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
