i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
