I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
