I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
