Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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