Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
nutella sex= disaster
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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