real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
After last night, I could never be a politician.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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