It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Randomize
