I need help removing her.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
