Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize