i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
