I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
