I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
