I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
