reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
