So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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