guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Randomize
