ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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