After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
