Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
