Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
